Bead Journal Project ~ My June Page

I deliberated for a long time about showing this, and finally decided to go ahead. The subject of my June journal page is quite personal... I'm turning 65 in September and find that I'm in denial about it.

A few of my goals for the BJP are: to play with layers, to not cover the entire surface with beads, to experiment with using text, and to use a visual journaling approach (whatever that means). So June began with sewing a scrap of fabric left over from making a spirit doll to another piece of fabric. Next I wrote in permanent black ink on the red fabric. Here's was it says:

I am facing a wall of denial.
I don't want to accept my age.
I don't want to be a senior citizen.
Youth and youthfulness ~ I can't go back.
The clock keeps ticking.
It's a wall.

I guess that's journaling, eh? Here's a detail that shows the writing. I thought it was quite brave to write on my piece and allow it to show!

After writing and before beading it, I expected the piece to be either full of rage or dark and gloomy. No such thing happened, as you can see. Almost all of my work on it was done in my Mom's assisted living place in MN. She commented that just past the "wall," there seems to be a great profusion of fun and beauty (the flowers). I don't really trust it will be like that yet, but working on the piece seems to have set me at ease a bit. It seems to be "saying" that it is all just a journey, and that 65 is simply a marker along the way.


Here's a picture of the back. I'm showing this because of the "finishing" discussion on the BJP blog. As you can see, I use paper (acid-free interleaving paper) as a stabilizer for my work, to keep it from puckering. When I finish the beading, I tear away the edges of the paper and fold the fabric edges to the back, tacking them in place with small stitches. Then, for this piece, I beaded a picot edge stitch around the outer edge.

Eventually, I may paint, embellish, and write on a water color paper postcard (4"x6") to glue on the back of the piece using PVA bookbinder's glue. Before I do that, I need to decide what I'm going to do with my 12 journal pages, and if I want to attach them to each other or some other thing. If that's the case, I might want to sandwich some attachment device between the beaded piece and the postcard.

Right now, I should be preparing to teach at the Puget Sound Bead Festival next week, but all I really want to do is to work on my July piece. It's nearly finished already! By the way, short notice... but I still have openings in all four of my classes. Also, becuase a couple of you have asked... yes, I will have autographed copies of my books for sale at the "Meet the Teachers" event and in my classroom.