Friday, December 31, 2010

Adieu to 2010

rabbits dancing toward the sun
As the year closes, I find myself in a space of gratitude, feeling like one of these bunnies, holding hands paws with a more spiritual double, skipping toward the sunshine, grateful for my husband and family, meaningful friendships, space and time for making art, opportunities to explore and learn, support and inspirations found through blogging, another year of good health, our beautiful world, and so much more!

Sometimes seeking pleasure and happiness seems to get in the way of experiencing it... the seeking itself takes over and becomes the goal. Duh~ I am more mindful of that trap now, more open to seeing simply what IS with delight.

Looking back at 2010, I blew it on some of my goals, yet there were many accomplishments, some completely unexpected. A few reflections:

Bead Journal Project: I dropped the ball on both blogging and stitching after August. My September piece still sits unfinished. Although I did make progress in collage art and using words in my art, I also learned that setting multiple rules for myself hampered my enthusiasm. I don't know if I'll ever finish the last four pieces for 2010. But here's the good news... my exuberance for 2011 is steadily growing!

Personal stuff: One thing most cyber-followers of Beadlust don't know about me is that I've struggled with weight, overeating and compulsive binging for most all of my adult life. Being pretty good at periodic dieting, I've never gone higher than 240 pounds (gaaaak!), yet always ballooned right back to my high after every diet. Finally this year I faced the fact that I have an addiction going on and that I'm powerless to do anything about it. I joined Overeaters Anonymous, miraculously became free of obsessions with food sugary-fatty-crap, have gone from tight size 18 jeans to good-fitting size 12s, and most importantly, with the support of my OA group and higher power, I'm beginning to get in touch with emotions long suppressed by compulsive overeating. (My recovery journey is here.)

One other personal note: My husband and I came close to divorce this summer. Fortunately he is willing to get help and fortunately we found an excellent marriage counselor. A lot of my energy is going into spending more time with him... more quality time, more communication, more connection. I'm grateful to be in our marriage at the end of a rocky year.

New horizons: Beading, my passion for 25 years, is extremely important to me and I know without a doubt that it still holds amazing potential as a creative outlet. However, this year has been a year of exploring other things like quilting. Right now I'm making a God's Eye quilt using scraps saved from many, many projects over the past 20 years or so. It's thrilling to make the blocks, each a mini-journal in fabrics. I'll post some pictures soon. I'm also hand-quilting a large 1930's reproduction 25-patch quilt. Weaving a foundation for a wall quilt from re-purposed silk garments (with bead and thread embroidery embellishments) is calling me too!

As I've been dealing with addiction recovery and marital difficulties, failing in the process to keep up with the many blogs which delight and sustain me, I'm aware that connections are breaking or lost. This is a sad side-effect of shifting my focus. I hope plan to do better in 2011!

If you're one who is still following Beadlust, I thank you for your support and wish you all the best in the year ahead!

45 comments:

  1. Ever here, dear Robin, right along with you!!!

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  2. I'll follow Beadlust just as long as you keep writing here.

    Here's to an end to 2010 and the beginning of 2011, with lots of creativity and love and adventures to keep us lively!

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  3. I too follow you around like a little puppy - I love seeing what you create and teach us with your talents.

    I dropped the ball in my particpation on the BJP this year and have decided that I will work on it throughout this new year to say in the end, that I did complete something that I started and enjoy so much.

    Best wishes to you in 2011 - may you find all the happiness and joy that you so deserve.

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  5. My first comment didn't read right after I posted it, sorry for the deletion, Robin. What I wanted to say was I'm still here, will continue to be around, and agree 2010 seems to have been a hard year for many. However, I love your second paragraph above -- it's full of hope. Happy New Year to all!

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  6. Oh yes, I too am still here as well. I hope you have a better year in 2011.
    I enjoy your blog and your truthfulness. You are a joy to read.

    I wish you the best in your weight loss as well. I too struggle with that. Especially this time of year. Very hard.
    Good luck and many blessings to you.

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  7. You've had a year to remember/forget. Let's hope the next one is wonderful-you've earned it. Congratulations on the weight loss-quite a feat. I'll always follow.

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  8. Just chalk 2010 down as a personal growth experience and be done with the whole thing. 2011 will be the year for reconnecting with your friends and interests. BTW, I'm still here as well and about to start on my July, 2010 BJP. LOL! I'll be playing along in 2011 as well.

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  9. It sounds like you have had a year of experiences and trials, and yet here you are.... excited to see what is to come in the New Year! Chalk 2010 up to a year of learning and finding new ways of being :)
    Hugs and warm wishes for a fantastic and creative 2011 filled with Joy and Love!

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  10. I'm still here too and it sounds very much like 2010 has been a turning point in your life, I admire your honesty and courage in tackling some difficult issues and working your way through them. It's so nice to hear that you and your husband are working together and well done on OA.

    Wishing you much happiness in 2011 x

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  11. Enjoy the New Year, Robin. You are and have been an inspiration to us all in the past and we look forward to more inspiration from you in the future!

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  12. I'm new to your blog..but I must say it's now not only your work that will keep me checking in. Your willingness to reveal what you've been going through touches and impresses me. I'm a fiber artist and confronter of my own personal demons. I'm also a therapist and know your victories come from incredible pain and struggle...you're on the path of personal power and growth. Keep on keeping on!

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  13. Robin - so glad to hear that you made it through 2010 with all of its difficulties and seem to be in a better place in many areas of your life. Happy New Year - here's to a creative and healing 2011!
    Carol

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  14. Robin, you had a challenging year, to say the least. You made it through and you are a better person for it. Congratulations! Wishing you a much improved 2011! I still cherish our meeting at the Twin Cities Bead Bazaar when you were there. You made me feel so good that day. Thank you.

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  15. Happy new year, dear Robin!
    I like your beads. You are the great artist. I wish you be happy

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  16. Sending best wishes for a Happy New Year Robin!

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  17. Happy New Year, Robin! I follow both your blogs and will continue to do so because you are so honest and share the universal things we all struggle with and because your art and take on life are unique. It's been a growth year for you - and hopefully that growth will turn out to be a flower that beautifies the rest of your life.

    Hau'oli Makahiki Hou!

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  18. always here, robin, waiting patiently to see what wonderous pictures you show and poetic words you write. your thoughts, instruction, photos...YOU...inspire me. i thank you for that. i have also been following, but keeping quiet on your new blog. so many things you write there are hitting home with me. i've been thinking and reflecting on what you write. maybe i can follow suit and make some changes for myself in that matter. i am sad to hear that you have had such struggles this year. but on a positive side of that, those are the things we grow from, learn from and get stronger because of. i thank you so much for your openness and honesty. you are a true blessing. let's all have a marvelous 2011 together!!!

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  19. Dear Robin
    Its sounds like you are in a much better place than you were when you first introduced us to your "other" blog. You were pretty confused then and seemed unsure of which path to take. It appears that you have sorted though some of that and I am happy for you.

    I would just love to see the quilting that you have been doing.

    Be well and wishes for you to find 2011 a prosperous year in the intangibles that are so important to our well being.
    xx, Carol

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  20. To all who commented above:

    Wow! I'm overwhelmed by such kindness and supportive comments. I had no idea so many were still following my blog. It certainly motivates me to get some pictures ready for a post! Maybe even tomorrow or Sunday... Thank you and bless you all!

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  21. Dear Robin you are a constant inspiration to me in beading and all the art you make. I didn't manage to keep my relationship together but I wish you hope and joy in all your pursuits, both creative and personal. I am trying BJP for the first time, it's going to be a busy beautiful creative year,

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  22. I'm following, too, Robin. Wouldn't miss your beautiful work, beautiful contemplations, beautiful instructions and beautiful you. Congratulations on your hard personal work in 2010.

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  23. Happy New Year! Art saves us from ourselves, connects us to others and keeps us humble. I, too, find myself grateful. Thank you for sharing your art and I also wanted to tell you that your "how to's" have been invaluable to me. Keepin it simple, Marlene

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  24. Here and reading - one thing I love about blogs is we're all human - here's to being human and here's to a MUCH better 2011 for all of us!

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  25. I will stay tuned but remember to put your family first. Your creativity is reflected in your happiness. Best of luck and I look forward to reading your blog.

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  26. Robin, for the past three years, you have been an inspiration to me and many others with the BJP. Like you, I have fallen behind, but that's okay. I'm comfortable with that. Blessings to you and your family in the coming year. I will continue to follow your blog and career. Arline

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  27. Keep on attacking the problems... with best wishes Like Nicki I signed up again in order to finish.... I had to stop with the headaches and vision problems from the concussion... But I know unless I finish BJP I will never finish documenting the bird garden.. Gerry K.

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  28. Hi Robin,

    I visit your blog almost daily! I want to thank you for sharing your knowledge, your inspirations, pictures of your artwork and your life ups and downs. I am one of the 2010 BJP participants that is not done with the 12 pieces. I have started September piece in September, and then was forced to stop all activities : I was in a car accident that left me with a bad whiplash. The first 2-3 weeks following the accident, I could not perform any activity and could barely hold a 2-3 sentences conversation. During these first weeks, one of your book that I had received just a few days prior to the accident kept me company. I would spend hours on the sofa with "Heart to Hands Bead Embroidery", reading one page, sleeping, reading another page,sleeping, going slowly through another page, sleeping, reading the same page I just read... I am glad that I had your book to keep me connected to the beading world. A big thank you for being who you are, and as long as you keep posting to your blog, I will happily read you.

    Whishing you a very good 2011.

    Anne-Marie

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  29. I'm sending heartfelt wishes and prayers that this coming year brings you much joy and that all the hard work you have done toward the overeating, your marriage and your love of life and stitchery will all come to fruition with peace and beauty in your world. I'll be here for your journey.

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  30. I love both your blog and your work. I also appreciate so much your openness about your personal struggles. I'm sure you've helped many more people than you know.

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  31. I really hope that 2011 brings you everything that is meant to be.

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  32. Anonymous12:42 PM

    So glad you are back. I hope you will have a great new year. Jane

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  33. I have been inspired this year by your beautiful beadwork. I'm happy for you that your life is on the upswing. Have a healthy, happy 2011 in which to bead.

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  34. Congratulations on facing those challenges in 2010 Robin and dealing with them in a positive and determined way.May 2011 be a happy and successful year for you.I really love the beautiful inspirational work you do and thank-you for sharing it here.

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  35. It's pure joy to read your post tonight Robin! Happy New Year indeed...and I will always be your fan and friend...even if you decide to be still and not communicate for the rest of your life...still here, still loving you...

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  36. Just hopping over to wish you the very best for this year! You still are amazingly inspirational and so very open about your struggles! May 2011 bring you what you hope for and some unexpected gifts too.

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  37. Hi Robin

    I have been a fan and have een following your blog ever since I took your class in Chicago a few years back. I am sorry you have had such an emotional year but stick with it and the New Year should be looking up. It seems as if you are both trying to hold on with going for help. Sometimes that is the answer.

    Hugs

    FredaB

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  38. Dear Robin,

    It's very funny that you should choose to start your blog post with two rabbits walking away. Tell them to turn around!!! Two days ago I read somewhere that 2011 is the Year of the Rabbit, and I thought of you immediately! This must be YOUR year! Make it as rabbitty as you can.

    All my best wishes,
    Sabine

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  39. Hopping(sic) you all the best for 2011. Can't wait to see what Bead crafts you come up with this year

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  40. New year, new hope, new joy. That is what I wish for you in 2011. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for having the vision for BJP and thanks also to all who are working hard to keep it going.

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  41. It was a year all the way 'round my dear....When my work began to shift focus I worried about losing 'friend's' and not being true to my textile work. Now I realize that the people who perhaps are - or would be- my 'real life' friends will read and write to me no matter what it is that I am enjoying doing at the moment. Life changes. We change. We grow. Be joyful for all of the wonderful possibilities that 2011 holds for you. No one promised us Rosemary gardens but we do need to learn to dodge the thorns! Be well friend....

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  42. Still here, still reading, Robin! You're the reason I got into beading - I hope you'll keep on, but if not, that's good too.

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  43. I haven't been around for a long time. Although I want to do more beading, last year watercolor took over - or was it the last two years? Anyhow, I am glad you are finding the help you need in multiple directions and that your beading is gaining back your interest. Good luck on your long term goals with husband and weight!

    Your quilt looks really nice too!

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  44. I'm sorry to hear you went throught difficult times, but I congratulate you on your weight loss, it's fantastic, I'm happy you did it ! Hope your relationship will get better. Hugs.

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