Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Beading for Change ~ BJP August's Page

improvisational bead embroidery by Robin Atkins, Bead Journal Project, August 2007, detail
Does anyone else out there have a bothersome mindset about money? Does it ring any bells when you read the following list?
  1. Always look for the cheapest thing on the menu; while husband thinks nothing of having a steak.

  2. Worry about not having enough money, or about running out of money.

  3. Buyer's remorse after a bead or fabric shopping trip.

  4. Get in a twit when the Dow drops 10 points.

  5. Get in a huge twit when the Dow drops two days in a row.

  6. Put off getting new glasses because they're so expensive.

  7. Stay in the cheapest motels when traveling.

  8. Not give money to those in need.

  9. False self-talk about money.

Money issues. Yup, I got em... Years ago, writing poetry and doing improvisational bead embroidery, I lessened the grip of money issues quite a lot. But in recent years, as I've approached seniorhood, the worry has started to creep back into my life.

My wonderful husband doesn't seem to be afflicted in this way. He's always telling me, "Go ahead... it's only money!" When I worked on this issue 10 years ago, I backed my bead embroidery with a $5 bill. I made a book with it, and used it to list my "money commandments" (such as "Thou shalt worry about having enough money" and the two shown below). Here are a couple of pictures of this project.

improvisational bead embroidery by Robin Atkins, hand-made book, Money Madness, cover
improvisational bead embroidery by Robin Atkins, hand-made book, Money Madness, cover detail
improvisational bead embroidery by Robin Atkins, hand-made book, Money Madness, inside cover
improvisational bead embroidery by Robin Atkins, hand-made book, Money Madness, inside page
improvisational bead embroidery by Robin Atkins, hand-made book, Money Madness, inside page
Ever since then, I've thought that I should have used a $100 bill! So this time I did. Below is my August BJP page.

bead embroidery by Robin Atkins, Bead Journal Project, August 2007

I was so nervous when I tore the bill at the start, but as the piece progressed, I started to feel pretty smug about it. Yes, it IS only money, after all.
Reactions have been very interesting:
  • Do you realize how many beads you could buy for $100?

  • I couldn't do that!

  • That's not really real... You made a copy of a $100 bill!

  • If you ever need it, you can take it off, tape it back together, and use it.

My response is:
  • How much do you think it would cost to go to a therapist and deal with my money issues?

  • How much do you think my inner sense of well-being is worth?

Time will tell how well this bead therapy has worked for me, but already I've made some changes that make me feel much better.

improvisational bead embroidery by Robin Atkins, Bead Journal Project, August 2007, tiger detail
The tiger is one of my two totem animals. He is here because I need his power and strength to put money worry behind me.